Cut. Cut without
mercy.
I knew of this rite of passage, everyone who follows the
tribe does. It is no secret that before you can proceed with the course, you
have to let go of all your ties from the outside world. The world full of
Facebook and Tsismis Analyses as Zee
so lovingly puts it. Nothing must come between you and the charts. Doing this
is a mere stroll in the park compared to accomplishing what comes next—cutting your
losses. All of it.
Cut. Cut without
mercy.
If you’re someone like me, whose port is swimming in a sea
of red, there is really nothing you wish more than to go back in time and talk
yourself out of buying THOSE losing positions. Every so often I catch myself
wishing that I didn’t press the Buy button.
And on occasions that I see my port green only for it to turn red after a
couple of days, I catch myself thinking I should have pressed the Sell button. It was a constant battle of should have and shouldn’t have. Sometimes I ask myself if all these wishful
thinking is all I’m ever going to be. They all tell you that losing is all part
of the learning process. What they do not tell you is that you don’t just lose
your hard-earned money, you lose a little part of your soul too.
Cut. Cut without
mercy.
My story is much like everybody else’s: a newbie who got
into the market in the hopes of earning more money. I was full of hope yet so naïve.
My first trade, I went all-in. I watched helplessly as a stock tip from a trader
friend plunged into the pits of hell faster than you could say “wow”. My port was bleeding and so was I.
But still full of hope, still so naïve, I didn’t cut. I became an honorary
member of the Hold and Pray club and my trader
friend quickly became my ipit buddy.
As it turns out, he was just as clueless as I am. It was a classic case of
blind leading the blind. Within five months, I lost a little less than forty-percent
of my total portfolio value. Yet still, I didn’t cut. How could I? It was a
six-digit loss.
Cut. Cut without
mercy.
But unlike everybody else’s, my story doesn’t end there. One
sunny Tuesday morning, I got a call from a friend who offers a high-yielding
investment. This is a person that I have already transacted with quite a few
times before and on all occasions, delivered on his promises. I trusted the
guy. And I thought it would be the answer to my losses. But I’m sure you’ve all
guessed what happened next, you’ve even probably seen it on the news. It turned
out to be a high-profile investment scam. My prior loss became chump change compared
to my current one. Before I knew it, I found myself diving into an abyss of misery
and shame. Day and night I would ask the Lord “why?”, day and night He would
tell me, “Learn from this.”
Cut. Cut without
mercy.
I was the one cut
without mercy. I was knocked down. I was beaten. I was defeated. I didn’t
think I could handle any more losses so I stayed out of the market for a couple
of months. Until one night, during one of my quiet times, I came across this:
My God is an awesome God. I felt like it was a much-needed wake-up call. The following
morning, I saw myself making a decision. I got out of my cocoon and started
cutting all of my losing positions. I figured I could not start over if I had
all these red weighing me down. So little by little I let them go, little by
little I could feel the burden lifting off my shoulders. It was a cathartic
release. It was not easy, but it needed to be done. One must let go to stand
still, and eventually, to move forward. Here I am despite all the rocks fate
has thrown at me. I may be bleeding, but at least I’m standing.
P.S.
On a lighter note, remember how I got lucky for getting that
coveted free slot? Well, well, well. As it turns out, the headmaster himself gave
me the slot because he thought that I
was the Nina that he used to know. The big question: Is he correct? Am I the
Nina that he used to know? Is Nina of days past the same Nina writing to you
now? More onto that next week :))